The Healing Birth of Isla Grace ♥️
Brianne shares the inspiring, beautiful story of her daughter’s birth.
When I had my son I didn’t know what birth would look like. I didn’t know what to expect. I felt like I prepared all I needed to prepare but wow was I wrong. To make a long story short, with him I did not receive the care I should’ve received in a hospital setting. I felt powerless, I felt like I had no voice. I felt like nobody could hear me...
Fast forward 3 years later we found out that we were expecting our second child, this one to be a girl. We were overjoyed at knowing we would have one son and one daughter. I truly knew this time around all the aspects of birth, the dirty AND the beauty.
I knew the things that happened with my son needed to happen the way they did to bring such healing this time around. My goal with this birth looked pretty similar to my sons. I wanted a vaginal, unmedicated birth. But my main goal was the find healing. To redeem birth. To take back my power as a woman with a voice that was robbed from me when birthing my first child.
We decided to get care from the midwives at river city birth center with my daughters birth. This time I hired a doula. My doula Emily. This team was stellar. This was the team I wished I had with Emery James. Time crept closer and closer to the end and we found that I was measuring a bit big, so the midwives suggested that I get in for an ultrasound to see what baby was measuring so they could provide the best care for me and see what steps we needed to take to ensure that I got the VBAC that I longed for. Baby was also measuring big according to ultrasound. The Dr seemed concerned because I had already had a c-section.
I was scheduled a few more ultrasounds after that and every time I went the same dr would pressure me “your baby is measuring huge, are you sure you didn’t have gestational diabetes?” Me: “no sir, I passed with flying colors” he would say “a baby this size needs to be delivered via c-section, because who knows what your pelvis can take”
And every time I’d say “the woman body is more than capable of birthing a baby vaginally after cesarean, how are there vbacs that happen if not?” .... it got him quiet. But it was also hard to hear. It was my fear “a big baby” I didn’t think I could do it...
I would take this info back to the midwives who would always reassure me, they weren’t worried. They trusted themselves and they trusted me, my body.....I felt strong again...
The time leading up to Isla being born, I was sitting at my computer desk at home. And my water started a slow leak. It slowly progressed into the night. My doula wanted me to rest. A day had past since my water break and no real contractions had began. I continued to exercise to jumpstart labor. My water leak increased as time passed. Soon it was to the point where it was gushing out. It was 48 hours since my water had broke that day and at this point I was concerned that no real contractions had began. At this point, risk of infection was getting higher and higher with every hour passing. I had also been putting in a lot of work doing exercise, birthing ball and miles circuits to ensure baby was in a great position for birth so I was exhausted physically and mentally.
I called my midwives and my doula Emily and after much deliberation with them and also my husband, we decided to head to the hospital to give my body a bit of a kick with an induction. I was happy because I made the decision. Me. In all my power as a badass woman and mother ♥️ we arrived about 7.
They started the pitocin at around 10 pm. They increased and increased but nothing happened. After several failed attempts at different tricks. Lots of different exercises and moving. I realized something, is it possible that the previous cut on my uterus has done damage to make it not contract hard enough to bring a baby down. I had felt powerful contractions before, with my son. These didn’t feel like anything. I knew I needed to make a decision.
It was about noon the next day and I realized it was time for a cesarean birth again. But this time the decision felt different. This time it felt like a powerful move. This time it felt like I set everything up the way it should’ve been set up. I felt a strong peace come over my body as I called the midwives at this hospital back into the room to let them know that I wanted to prepare for c-section.
Almost everyone that I had seen and that cared for me that day so far came into the room with so much love and support in their eyes. I thanked them all for caring for me, for supporting me and for never pressuring me into feeling like I needed to make a certain decision. My birth with Isla was guided by the voice in my head and with the strength and support of my husband right along side me ♥️
This was different. As I thanked them all and thanked my wonderful doula, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of success, it overwhelmed me so much that I was sobbing. But the tears were joyful. The feeling of knowing that i was using the beautiful tool called a cesarean birth to bring my daughter into this world and it was exactly what needed to be done. This very way.
I felt like every ounce of my power that was ripped from me with my first birth came back to me the day we brought our daughter into this world, it was a rush. I felt whole again. Healed.
This time I got to hold my baby and remember it. This time I got to see my placenta, the very thing that gave her life. I got the skin to skin and my baby never left my sight. I remember breastfeeding my baby for the first time. Everything I dreamed of, I received.
Isla Grace Ellington was born at 1:43 pm at a perfect 8lbs 6oz. ♥️
These pictures are real, raw and so special to me.
